"April was too lonely a month to spend alone. In April, everyone around me looked happy. People would throw their coats off and enjoy each other’s company in the sunshine—talking, playing catch, holding hands. But I was always by myself."
— Norwegian Wood (Haruki Murakami)
"In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act."
— George Orwell

SarahMas: why can’t I do this?

Sarah Masri’s Life:

Plot Twist: The person you began to trust the most, he’s been lying to you all along.

Isn’t ironic how certain people pick at you for not opening up? You try to explain to them that you don’t trust easily, because of your record. They get frustrated because they shouldn’t have to deal with someone else’s mistakes as they claim they are as honest as it gets.

Finally when you put your walls down, it all comes out. You feel stupid for believing them. It’s the worst feeling when they become another name on that list. Maybe one day they’ll figure out why the next person will have to hear the same story.

Couple nights ago I was highly disappointed by someone who I really love. Leading to my lack of sleep and mind boggling thoughts. It hurts knowing I let my guard down to trust and once again thought “This could be the one” “He’s different.”

I have to keep remembering that the person for me will treat me better. Ironically I have an odd hope that he’ll find me in the near future.

One day i’ll meet someone and it will be so simple. The moment we meet, I won’t have to think things through. I’ll know from the start, and i’ll see the ending…. the happily ever after. I won’t over think because my doubts were never there. I’ll feel secure and reassured. They won’t know love until they’ve met me. All I want is to love and be loved in return, but in the purest form. Innocence.
I’m a little lost but I know he’ll find me. He’s got the compass, I just hope he can navigate. I can’t wait to meet him. One day.

"The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get."
— Joanna Hoffman